Caregiving and Family Meals: Are You Dealing with a Fussy Eater? How Medications Alter Our Taste
“I don’t like chicken.” “I don’t want that?” “This tastes funny.” 
Caregiving can seem like you’re back in the toddler years when your kids turned up their noses at anything you set in front of them—even if they liked it yesterday! What we don’t always realize is that there may be more going on than just being a fussy eater—it’s may be the medications they’re taking that has altered their taste or appetite.
Certain diseases and medications can change your taste buds and your appetite. While it’s easy to get in a death match over dinner, don’t forget that as our elders age their tastes and needs do change. Elders typically eat less—and many medications alter how food tastes. As challenging as it is to try and try, to buy foods they request only to have them reject it, or when they complain about what you do fix, it may be to cover up that something has changed and they don’t know how to express it.
Drugs that alter how food tastes: (Click here for a comprehensive list)
- Abilify
- Ambien
- Celebrex
- Cipro
- Flonase
- Levaquin
- Lipitor
- Nexium
- Plavix
- Wellbuterin
- Zyrtec
I bet your loved one has been or is currently taking one of the medications listed above. No wonder their appetite has waned. Sometimes we have to weigh the benefits of a medication against the drawbacks/side effects they bring with them. Still, I find that I’m more patient and understanding when I see that there’s an outside factor that’s beyond both our control.
How to tackle food issue frustrations?
Don’t take it personal—even when you’ve prepared something they’ve requested and then won’t eat.
Ask your doctor for alternative medications/times to take it. Let them know it’s causing food issues and ask for help.
Other ways to encourage healthy eating:
Experiment with flavors—spice it up or take out the spices and go with something soothing such as butter or cream. You never know what might work—so try it in small quantities.
Is it a power play? Rebellion isn’t just for teen and toddlers. Sometimes our elders need to feel a little control of their own and may be knocking heads with you just to say, “You’re not the boss of me!”
Let go and be patient. If your loved one simply can’t find something they like to eat, then stop making it an issue. It’s frustrating for them, too. It’s awful when you’re hungry and nothing tastes good—or you’re not hungry and you know you should be. I know you’re worried, but there may be very little you can do to fix this—so why not let both of you off the hook and not impose pressure on the situation. In time, the medication issue may level out—so keep gently offering tasty dishes.
Make yourself a great meal and eat it in front of them. Sounds mean? Do it in a loving, I’ve-got-to-eat way—because you do. They may just need to be in an environment conducive to eating. But either way, you need to eat—veggies, fruits, salmon, good grains and other lean proteins—you need our strength and your health to care for someone else, so don’t neglect your own needs.
OR…if your loved one is battling cancer or other “I can’t eat” issues, then be sensitive to smells and eating around them. One family I know put a “Kitchen’s Closed” sign up and decided to eat out so that their daughter who was struggling with cancer didn’t have to smell foods that made her gag.
Let them eat what they want or can eat. I know we’re all about healthy eating these days, but as my mom’s health and eating issues escalated (she had Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s) I realized this wasn’t a battlefield I was willing to die on. She was a great eater and healthy person all her life—it was time to let her have what she wanted. We went through an Ensure phase, a rice and butter phase, and Jello phase, and finally, a Klondike Bar phase. I always offered her healthy choices but in the end, I tried to love her and give her whatever tasted good at the time.
Make mealtime happy time. Whether you eat on the back porch, watch a comedy together, or sit at the dining room table, make sure that it’s pleasant. Life and caregiving are hard enough. Light some candles, put on a Frank Sinatra CD, or open the windows (maybe in the Fall!) and listen to the birds. Who wants to eat when people are miserable? Lighten up and enjoy your food. In the end, you can only decide what goes into your tummy—no one else’s.
