Why Are You Caregiving? The Top Diseases and Conditions for Spousal Care
According to WellSpouse.org, spousal caregiving has an interesting breakdown. While heart disease is the number one killer in the U.S., long-term illnesses such as MS, Parkinson’s, and Alzheimer’s top the spousal care list. Perhaps this is because certain diseases require more assistance such as the physical challenges that come with MS or Parkinson’s, and the mental/emotional challenges of Alzheimer’s.
Top Spousal Care Diseases, Illnesses and Disabilities: (in order of prevalence)
- MS
- Parkinson’s Disease
- Alzheimer’s, Dementia and related memory loss illnesses
- Autoimmune deficiencies and disorders
- Brain injuries, disorders and/or diseases
- Cancer (all types)
- Crohn’s Disease, Colitis and IBS
- Chronic Pain Disorders
- Diabetes and other endocrine dysfunctions
- Leukemia and Lymphoma
- Mental Illness, Depression, Anxiety and related disorders
- Neurological disorders
- Spinal Cord Injuries and/or paralysis
- Spasticity issues and Movement Disorders
- Stroke or Heart disease and disorders
The good news is that if you’re caring for a spouse with one of these conditions, you’re not alone. In fact, there are online and community support groups that can help both you and your spouse adjust and cope with your disease, illness, or disability.
As much as you need each other—both of you need others! Our relationships thrive with the stimulation of friends, family, and new acquaintances. As much as your wife or hubby loves you, he/she might be just a little tired of seeing only your mug day after day! Venture out and make some new connections
After diagnosis (or surgery/emergency) we tend to feel shell-shocked. As spouses we’re thrown into the world of care with little if any guidance, much less training. Our world swirls around doctors, treatments, therapies, and home health aides and care equipment. It takes time to adjust—and we have to fight guilt and resentment. It comes with the territory, but it’s easy to get stuck in the vortex of frustration and never move forward.
Visit www.wellspouse.org for a comprehensive list of online sources that will help in your caregiving journey. Check out your local support groups as well—most hospitals, senior or community centers, and many churches offer groups, workshops, and community events to help you navigate the caregiving world.
As soon as you can, do something non-caregiving related. Rent a movie, take a day trip and eat at a favorite haunt, or join a book club (you can get most books on audio if your spouse has difficulty reading) or wine club. Whatever it is, don’t let your world evolve around the heaviness and sadness associated with disease. You—and your loved one—are so much more!
Give it time. At first, it’s so much to take in. Many conditions level out a bit in time. As awful and challenging it may seem today—a year from now it will most likely be better. You’ll know what you’re doing (a little bit). You’ll make connections and find people to help and offer their experience and advice. You’ll be amazed at what all you can do. Most of us will eventually experience at least a portion of time spent caring for our spouse. And that’s if we’re lucky. Treasure each day, each exhausting, chaotic, overwhelming spousal caregiving day. Each day stands to get a bit better.
Why are you caregiving? Because you care.
