I’m Not a Caregiver, I’m Just Caring for My Wife
Spousal and partner care doesn’t feel like caregiving. We’re just caring for the one we love—but when does it cross the line from caring—to caregiving? According to the National Family Caregiving statistics 14 million of the close to 50 million caregivers in the United States are now males—and the numbers are rising. Click here >>
Men are not only caring for their wives, but they’re also caring for their moms and dads. In fact, 24% of all caregivers are male and the average age is a 49 year old male who is caring for their mother. He may still be working full-time but he’s also making sure his mother’s needs are met.
Men are less likely to attend a caregiving workshop or visit a caregiving online forum or support group. They tend to be strong and go it alone—even when it affects their health. But that’s changing, too. Men are finding that attending a monthly gathering and even bringing their wives along allows them to meet other couples in similar situations. They can discuss insurance and Medicare issues, as well as make new friends and discuss day-to-day triumphs and challenges.
Are men good nurturers?
Of course they are! The criteria for caregiving is commitment, not talent. We give care because our loved ones need us—not because we’ve always dreamed of a career in the health care field.
What about all the blood and fluids?
“I’m taking care of things I never thought I would—but you know, it’s okay,” says Greg, a caregiving husband who lives near Orlando, Florida. “When I retired I imagined my days filled with golf and fishing.” Six months into retirement my wife had a stroke. It was a bad one and the first couple of years were tough. Now, with physical and speech therapy, my wife is doing well—and I’m able to enjoy an occasional game of golf—and we enjoy fishing together.”
Greg set aside his retirement dreams to build a ramp for his wife’s wheelchair onto the front of their house. He also helped to renovate their kitchen and bathroom to make it easier for daily tasks—and even installed a hot tub in the back yard—which has been great hydro-therapy for his wife.
“Maybe it’s not what I planned—but it’s still good—really good. I think her stroke served to bring us closer. It showed me what we’re made of—and I found that I’m a pretty darn good cook, too!”
Caring for those we love is just what we do—male or female. When it comes to spouses and care, caregiving is just a fancy name for love.
