Chase the Blues Away: Creating an Atmosphere of Hope Right at Home
Many of our elders and caregivers struggle each day with depression. It’s no wonder. They’re fighting pain, disease, death, dealing with mounting medical costs and frustrations—and many are isolated and overwhelmed with day-to-day care needs. In fact, elder suicide is higher than any other age category—those 85 years old and older are highly susceptible and yet our society doesn’t opening address this shocking statistic.
If you think your elder is contemplating suicide—
call 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) for help now. Stop reading and CLICK HERE for help or call your family physician. Don’t try to tackle this alone.
Hopefully, you’re reading this post before you hit this brick wall.
How do you fight the good fight and keep depression at bay?
By first recognizing the signs and realizing that other diseases may have masked the symptoms/diagnosis.
Our previous post, “Should I Not Say the “D” Word (Depression) will give you some direction to know how to recognize the symptoms and begin to formulate a plan.
Chase the Blues Away:
- Create an atmosphere where talking about your feelings/fears is accepted.
- Talk about your own “issues” as a way to open the door.
- Don’t hide behind chores and busy-ness—talking and listening is far more important than clean tile grout.
- Open up the curtains and get outside. Many elders like to hide in the dark—don’t let them.
- Light therapy can change a mood and offers Vitamin D—a natural remedy that helps to combat depression.
- Have a varied schedule—and guests. Monotony can creep in on our lives, and while it means we expend less energy it doesn’t mean it’s healthy—so keep a flow to your days.
- Create ways for your elder to connect with others. Bingo, church trips, phone calls from old friends, neighbors who drop by, visits from grandchildren and great-grandchildren, adult day care, luncheons, visits from their clergy, planned visits from long-distance relatives—even repair people and home health aides—your elder needs to look at someone other than pretty smile so do your best to coordinate ways for your elder to connect.
- Music therapy—exercise and games. You need this, too! Put on some Count Basie and swing dance. Buy a Wii and try out bowling (my mother-in-law can beat the pants off all of us!), get a DVD and do some yoga. Play bridge, online Mahjong—try anything that engages the mind—and do it first so your elder isn’t feeling like you’re the camp counselor—you’re at “Camp Caregiving,” too!
- Liven up the place. A can of paint costs less than $20.00. Get a butter yellow, lavender, aqua-marine—the cheerier the better. Just paint an accent wall. Get rid of some clutter and buy a couple of plants—rearrange your items a bit and buy throw pillows. You might not have a decorator’s thumb so don’t worry about the rules and buy what you like.
- Get a pet. I know, more to take care of? Yes, and no. They take care of us, as well. There’s nothing better than to know that someone is counting on you. Our pets need us—and we’ll do for them what we won’t do for ourselves. We’ll get out of bed to feed them, get on our shoes to walk them—and in return they’ll lick our faces, make us laugh, and cuddle up on cold nights. Trust me, it’s worth the trouble.
- Watch funny TV. Turn on Animal Planet, Funniest Home Videos, or purchase old TV shows your elder loves—there’s lots of videos you can download, rent, or buy that will brighten your day. Stay away from medical and crime shows if they bum you out.
- Eat what you love—there comes a time when you can nix the bran flakes and go straight for the marshmallows! Life is short and sometimes we just need to let ourselves indulge. Do all you can to be thoughtful, kind, and easy—getting through a rough patch may mean occasionally breaking the rules.
Will any of this work? It’ll sure help. Yes, you may have to integrate medication and talk therapy—but don’t underestimate how important it is—for both of you—to live in a place that’s full of light, surrounded by people and objects that make you smile—and that someone is going to the effort to create an atmosphere of hope. Do it for yourself—and your elder will reap the benefits.
